2006-01-03

The Many Personalities of Clinton Portis: Dr. I Don't Know

All week long, in anticipation of the Buc's playoff game against the Redskins, I will be sharing some of the many twisted personalities of 'Skins runningback Clinton Portis. For those just tuning in, over the last eight weeks of the season Portis has disguised himself as a different character. Surprisingly, the local media has had little difficulty finding Portis each time.



With Jerome from Southeast DC's death following the 'Skins crushing loss to the Giants came the appearance of Dr. I Don't Know. I'll let the doctor explain his outfit.

The Glasses: "They're actually from surgery. I did the autopsy on Southeast Jerome. The glasses were white, but mixing them with blood, it just so happened they turned pink."

The Hair: "A lot of time in the laser room. In radiology, we're doing a lot of things, and it just so happens it grew out this color."

Ok, I more surprised that Clinton Portis knows what radiology means, much less that he is able to pronounce it. After all, this man is a graduate from a school whose alumnus are unable to pronounce the full name of said school (i.e. the U).

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