Who's hot for teacher?

Few tasks are as pointless and arbitrary as assigning grades less than a week after the draft. But that doesn't stop Mel Kiper Jr. and the rest from doing just that every year. And honestly I don't blame them, people are still going to read and bitch about draft grades. And as long as we keep reading them Mel Kiper Jr. will keep writing them. It's like one big never ending circle jerk.

And in that spirit I bring you the Buc's draft grades from around the web and both ends of the spectrum. On one end we have Mel Kiper Jr. who takes his grades far too seriously while providing little reasoning for the grade. On the opposite end of the spectrum is Dr. Z, who injects a healthy mixture of humor and insight into his grades.

First up...

Mel Kiper Jr. (ESPN.com), C+

Tampa Bay went offensive line with its first two picks: OG Davin Joseph and OT Jeremy Trueblood. Joseph might have been high for the first round, while Trueblood is tall and sometimes plays upright. Wide receiver Maurice Stovall really improved under coach Charlie Weis and was a very good third-round pick. Alan Zemaitis is a solid cornerback who has a knack for the ball.

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John Czarnecki (Foxsports.com), C

Notre Dame receiver Maurice Stovall is a big target like Keyshawn Johnson used to be. Penn State cornerback Alan Zemaitis is a perfect cover-two cornerback in Monte Kiffin's scheme and had six interceptions last season.

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Pete Prisco (Sportsline.com), C

Best pick: Cornerback Alan Zemaitis, the team's fourth-round pick, didn't run that well, which dropped his stock, but he's a perfect fit for what the Bucs want from their corners.

Worst pick: Second-round pick Jeremy Trueblood was probably taken a round too high. But the Bucs liked him.

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Dr. Z (SI.com), B-

As a pair, I like choices Nos. 3 and 4 better than Nos. 1 and 2. First choice Davin Joseph is a top-grade guard, but the second pick, T Jeremy Trueblood, is a 6-8 string bean who was tied for sixth weakest among the 44 linemen who participated in the combine's grunt and heave, a.k.a. bench press.

Again, none of these grades have any meaning, so feel free to abuse them how ever you like (much like the Filipino mail order bride you have in your basement).