Hello to all the Bucs fans out there, my name is Big Al and I’m the newest writer at this website. I will be giving y’all a REAL fans perspective of the Bucs, not like the bunch of whining nancies who have been writing on this site. So since Ski has given y’all his offseason wish list here is the REAL fan’s wishlist:
1. FIRE GRUDEN!!!
This no talent hack has been stinking up Tampa ever since he arrived. What has he done besides winning a Super Bowl (with Saint Dungy’s players!) and three division titles? Nothing, that’s what! If the McKay’s had any brains the first thing they would do this week would be to fire Gruden and then get Bill Parcells to be the coach. The ’86 Giants were totally the BEST TEAM EVER plus the Big Tuna is a total badass.
2. Draft the Best Florida Player in the First Round!
This is a Flori-duh kind of move. Every year I argue we should draft the best college player in the state. Last year it was Jarvis Moss and the year before that Ernie Sims. Both years that dummy Gruden passed on the best player in the state. If he doesn’t draft Derrick Harvey this year Gruden TOTALLY deserves to get fired!
3. Trade for Randy Moss!
This is a no-brainer. What did the Pats trade for Moss, like a third round pick? The Bucs can just up the offer and trade a second round pick for Moss. If that doesn’t work just throw in Michael Clayton as well. I don’t know why Gruden hasn’t thought of this trade.
4. Make Jake Plummer the Starter!
You know why the Bucs lost to the Giants? Besides Gruden being such a bad coach, it was because of that nancy Jeff Garcia. T.O. was right, if it smells like a rat. What do you mean Garcia is married to a former Playboy Bunny? Jake the Snake, his porn-stache, and his backwards passes are still more manly than Garcia and his “play it safe” game.
5. Guarantee Derrick Brooks a Lifetime Starting Spot!
Gruden is a moron if he doesn’t guarantee Brooks as a lifetime starter at linebacker, competition for the position be damned. Brooks is TOTALLY going into the Hall of Fame, and any player going into the Hall of Fame has to be great, right? And it’s not like players get slower as they got older, at least not great players like Brooks. Plus Brooks is a great community guy and benching him would hurt the feelings of all the kids Brooks takes to Africa during the offseason.