A lover spurned...

Dear Jake,

Fuck you. What did we ever do to you that pissed you off? Was it the Largo sex change firing thing, 'cause if it was we're totally not down with that. That ain't Tampa baby.

We could have made you so happy. You could be throwing to Joey Galloway and Calvin Johnson, and handing off to Cadillac and Mike Alstott. We would even over look your suckitude when you tried to throw a 30 yard pass into double coverage using your left hand. Anything's better than the pussy we're with now, he can't even get his balls past the line of scrimmage (if you know what I mean).

We had so much to offer you; plentiful beaches, quality steak joints, no state income tax....we would have even turned a blind eye when you went to our ample strip clubs. 'Cause we're down with that.

But hey, it's cool. We don't need you or your beard. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. In fact, we've been talking to this other guy who is totally not gay. So enjoy retirement fucktard.

-Tampa Bay


Scott said...


You. Mother. Fucker. I had a letter to Plummer all constructed and ready to post, but for some reason I took a quick tour of NFL blogs first. And there you are. Damn it... stay off my lawn!

Douglas Scott S. said...

ouch. plummer. i bet he doesnt end up retiring. which isnt good for the bucs because he'll only be playing for the money. he clearly doesnt want to be in tampa bay, that's not a good situation.

Ski said...

my humble apologies scott, 'specially since your version would most likely put mine to shame. but you know what they say about early rising worms

and douglas, the snake has clearly never visited tampa....

T.K. said...

Sheesh, ski. No need to get so harsh. I'm actually in the minority on this one; Plummer's a hack and has always been a hack. The last thing we needed was someone of his ilk coming in and throwing off the offense any more. Give me Garcia over Plummer any day.

Joel said...

I'm with T.K. on this one - I've never been happier to see my hometown be repellant. Plummer is just Gradkowski with more hair, and older. The only thing this story tells me is that Gruden/Allen still don't really know what they're doing recruitment-wise.

Plus I don't think Plummer's issue is money. He doesn't want to compete for a starting job - he wants it handed to him. I don't think even the Raiders are that desperate. He'll probably learn his lesson in a few weeks and sign with someone else.

Just be glad it won't be Tampa.

Ski said...

tk and joel, i agree with ya that jake the snake is garbage but so is every qurterback who has played for the bucs since gruden came to town. shaun king, brian griese, chris simms, even brad johnson. compared to everyone who came before him plummer would be an improvement.

it looks like the bucs will sign garcia which shows just how desperate gruden is to win this season. the bucs still need a young quarterback to groom for '08, so if garcia is signed i hope gruden and company would draft a decent quarterback (troy smith maybe......)

and scott, check your comments, in the words of judge smails, "well.....we're waiting"